Jessica Jahiel's HORSE-SENSE Newsletter Archives

Green horse, beginner rider

From: Loni

Dear Jessica, I'm pretty sure that I know what you're going to say here, but I really need some backup and I know that my clients will listen to what you say. They have more respect for you than for me! I teach riding and do some horse-training in Colorado. My one client has been taking lessons for a year, and she loves riding. Because of a weird divorce situation and a recent marriage, she now has a ten-year-old step-daughter who has been riding about two times in her whole life. Lindy (the daughter) just got interested in horses recently and her Dad (who knows nothing about horses) just told her that he would buy her a horse. She has picked out a horse that she wants. Fortunately Marcie (her stepmom, my client) said that they couldn't buy any horse even if they loved it, before I checked it out and a vet checked it out. BTW, she learned that from one of your books, so thank you! I went to see the horse yesterday. He is a Palomino, about two years old, very cute if you like the type. He has barely been started, which is kind of late for a horse at a Western barn, most of the places here, the trainers get on the horses when they are about a year old, maybe fifteen months old at the latest, or they won't be ready for the big shows when they are two. So that's sort of "good news, bad news", I guess. This little gelding didn't get started as soon as most, so he won't be as wrecked as most, that's the good news part, but that means he doesn't know very much and he's just about as green as he can be. That's the bad news part. I've tried to talk to Marcie about the whole thing, she really does know better than to let a ten-year-old kid who can't ride buy a two-year-old untrained horse! But she hasn't been married all that long, and she's worried about being the "wicked stepmother" if she says "no" about this horse. Lindy doesn't seem like a bad kid, but she is playing this situation for all it's worth. Typical divorce situation, I guess. But since I teach Marcie and it looks like I'll be teaching Lindy, I really don't want to be in a situation where I'm trying to work with a beginner kid on a barely broke colt. That's stupid. But now I'm being put in a bad position because I'm going to be the big mean trainer who won't let little Lindy have her pretty Palomino, and I don't want that either. What I want is for Lindy's Dad to get his head on straight and realize that no way is a ten-year-old beginner rider ready for a barely broke colt. Marcie is a good client and friend, but this is making me crazy, and I don't want to have to explain to my other clients why I'm doing something that I always tell them is totally wrong and stupid. Can you help me, please? I need backup! Desperately seeking sanity, Loni

Hi Loni! You want backup? You've got it. You would be several kinds of irresponsible to put a ten-year-old beginner rider on a barely-broke colt. Don't do it. Marcie may be your good friend now, but she's already doing things she knows are wrong just because she doesn't want to seem like a bad stepmother. Of course the child is being manipulative - it doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't make her a bad child. Being manipulative is completely normal for any ten-year-old in her situation. Trying to manipulate her parents and step-parents is understandable; she's TEN. It's the only power she has in the world; it would take an incredibly saintly and mature child NOT to use that power. But that doesn't mean that her father OR her stepmother OR you have to go along with it when going along means putting Lindy in danger.

Tell Marcie and her husband that buying a barely-broke colt for young Lindy is just about as clever as buying her a sportscar - and a six-pack. What were they thinking? Well, actually I know what they're thinking... he's thinking "I've deprived my child of the stable two-parent family she used to have, and I'll do anything and buy anything to make it up to her", and Marcie is thinking "I've got to be good to this poor little girl from a broken home, especially since she's going to be living in MY home!" Lindy is, no doubt, thinking "Oh, a beautiful Palomino of my own, I can't be happy unless Daddy buys him!"

Sadly, all of this is sheer nonsense. If they want to buy a Palomino for Lindy, they should enlist your help and start looking for a solid-citizen Palomino that's at least as old as its prospective owner, and "broke to death" as the saying goes. (Or, as the other saying goes, "kid-broke, fat-man broke, and old-lady broke".) If Lindy's new best friend is going to be a horse, that's just fine, as long as the horse is experienced, seasoned, reliable, and kind. This two-year-old might grow up to be that way, but not if he's handed over to a child as her first horse. That's a REALLY bad idea. He needs an experienced trainer; she needs a horse that can help her learn to ride. And she needs lessons!

All those old sayings are true. "Old horses for young riders; old riders for young horses." "Green and green don't make blue (ribbons)" - although "Green and green can make black-and-blue!"

It would have been much more sensible for Lindy's father and stepmother to buy her a series of lessons - say 52 of them, after which, IF the instructor (you) thought she was ready, and IF she still wanted a horse, you would all, as a group, begin to look for one. But since the promise has been made, the best solution at this point is probably to give her the same lesson package - and to find her the best, quietest, most reliable horse (Palomino or not) you can find. If she's a normal horse-loving ten-year-old, it will take her about two minutes to fall in love with HER OWN horse, even if he's bay or chestnut or roan. If Lindy is determined to own a Palomino, then you'll have to look for one - but don't buy one until you find the right one. You can explain to her that it is harder to find just the right horse in a particular colour, so the search will take longer - but she'll get to start her lessons in the meantime, and learn how to look after her horse so that she'll be better-prepared when she gets it.

I hope that's enough backup for you, Loni. Stick to your principles and don't do something you know is wrong. Get Lindy into lessons right away, and start looking for a horse that she can learn on, trust, cuddle, and enjoy - whatever its colour.

Jessica

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