From: Kristine
While you're solving the problems of the world, can you take a stab at mine.
I haven't ridden in a while and I'm beginning to think what's the point. My work (and web) hours are a killer. I spent a recent morning in the emergency room having an EKG - diagnosis too many 18 hr days. So fine I cut back to 14 hr/days and got myself out to the barn. Warn up was interrupted by a Percheron mare loose in the yard and I let the gelding get pretty silly. I'm sore as hell all week but worse, frustrated with the gap between what used to be and now. Feel like I'm wasting my trainers time if I can't ride 3-4 days/ week and it's getting ridiculous that I don't have my own horse (real tired of what I'm riding). Would anyone like to offer some words of encouragement, a ray of hope? Or should I just put it aside again, because I'm mom and I come last.
Second, you are not wasting anyone's time, certainly not your trainer's. If you can ride four times a week, that's great. If you can ride three times a week, that's great. If you can only ride twice a week, and sometimes you only ride once, that's NOT great but you aren't going to be put up against a wall and shot for dereliction of riding duty.
You're going to need to do a few things, though -- for instance, take time during the day for yourself, even if it's just fifteen minutes to go take a walk without the cel phone. Get some oxygen in your tissues, get your circulation going, feed your brain -- you'll feel better. Those endorphins don't hurt, either. Then, MAKE time to ride, even if you have to blow off something else. You're overextended for a lot of reasons, I know, but this is your therapy time... wouldn't you rather spend it on a horse than on a couch? Then, if you want, e-mail me and I'll send you exercises that you can do OFF the horse that will keep you physically able to make progress even if you're only ON the horse once or twice a week.
Third, remember, "and this too shall pass." It won't always be this way. You're going to have to slow down and get some relaxing-time in, even if it's our particular idea of relaxation (riding!). There's no point in David getting the degree and making more money if he has to support you in an institution. You'd be better off cutting back a little and making positive plans to put YOUR OWN HORSE in your life. At least sit down and make a list -- or better yet, make one in your head while you're walking (it really does make you think better). Think of what you need, what you want, what you would like, what you can live without, and what you absolutely won't accept in a horse -- it's the first step toward horse-hunting.
Fourth, I know that Mom always comes last, but here's another saying you should consider: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!"
Fifth, my book will be out in a few week, and THAT will make you feel better!
- Jessica
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